An Approach to the Evolution of the Mind
Vywamus channeled through Patricia Marston-Snow & Halsey Snow
What is "Story?"
Welcome, My Friends, this is Vywamus:
When we talk about "story," what is it we mean? Everyone has numerous "stories" which they play with in their head, sometimes consciously, often unconsciously. For example, we all have stories about our family, our upbringing, our teachers, our friends, our work, what we like and don't like, how we see ourselves, how others see us, what we believe we can or cannot XXX be, where we are going, where we have been, how change does and does not happen, etc., etc., etc. Some stories are more interesting than others. Some stories hold really big emotional "kicks," and these we usually share with many people by speaking, writing and/or acting out.
And some stories we would really like to change, but how is that possible? Can you change a story which seems to be based on the past, on what cannot change, on what seems to be "true?" The answer is yes you can. How? With the use of “creator consciousness”.
A major step in creating change in a story requires you to acknowledge that Self is the creator of the story, regardless of what the story is about, the timing of the story and the other people involved in the story. Although we think about and speak our stories with great knowingness of our “TRUTH” regarding the facts of the story, there exists little awareness of what these stories are really composed of, and the effects which they are having on us. This is a point where a change in the understanding and use of the common term "story" can assist oneself in relating to Self differently. We need to begin with an understanding of Self as Creator, which is embodied in the First Principle of Manifestation: You are the creator of all you experience.
The power of creation resides in each one of you. This "power" is a form of energy which you are not usually conscious of, and I will use the words "choice energy" to refer to this power. *** (People tend to assume that the phrase ‘choice energy’ is the same as the mind’s ability to make a choice, hence a decision. It is different. Choice energy is an energy of creation, of manifestation. The decision making process of the mind does not play with “choice energy”, it plays with the manifestations within the mental realm known as thoughts) Remember, your creation of your experience is happening all the time through your use of this choice energy, you are doing it, AND you are unconscious of it. Now when this energy moves into manifestation, it does so in many, many different dimensions SIMULTANEOUSLY. That is correct - it is not a "top - down" model of creation as you may have heard about or read about. Creation happens simultaneously. And of course, you all know that in the human experience, you are attuned to, primarily, 4 dimensions: the mental, emotional, physical, and the spiritual. Of course, the "spiritual" dimension, when you refer to it that way, is really just a shorthand term for "all those other dimensions which I am not very aware of and do not know specifically what they are," etc. So we use the term "spiritual dimension" with that understanding, that it covers a lot of territory.
Now we have the energy of creation, "choice energy," or we can just say "choice," which moves into manifestation and does so simultaneously in all dimensions. The 3 primary dimensions of manifestation which you need to be concerned with at this time in your spiritual development are the mental, emotional and physical, for these are the dimensions which the
personality/ego was created to experience in and learn from. What are the manifestations on these dimensions? In the EMOTIONAL dimension, choice energy manifests as feelings (conscious and unconscious.) In the PHYSICAL dimension, choice energy manifests as all the physical objects and experiences which you have (including your body), and the unconscious physical manifestations you are not aware of (which is everything you believe you do "not" have, and all the things which are "not" yours). And in the MENTAL dimension, choice energy manifests as thought (conscious and unconscious.) You have the experience of thought, and that is the manifestation of your "choices" in the mental dimension - at least that part of the mental dimension which is accessible by your mind.
CHOICE MANIFESTS - this is a universal law or truth or however you want to perceive such things. There is no such thing as "partial" or "incomplete" manifestation. Every choice has its own particular forms of manifestation in the different dimensions. In fact, there are no "better or poorer" manifestations when it comes to choices. You could say that "all choices are created equal" regardless of your opinion or judgment of the choice/manifestation.
One particular choice that humanity plays with in great abundance in almost every experience is the choice of denial. And I bring this to your attention primarily due to the fact that when denial manifests in our reality you are not usually aware of it even though the choice of denial affects other manifestations. The choice of denial is stimulated by the intention to HIDE something from your conscious awareness. And the choice of denial when manifested does this very well. There are many different forms of the choice of denial, all which you are very familiar with, all hiding something (other manifestations) from your conscious awareness. I am sharing with you a list of the principal forms of denial which I have been using with my students, which shows how extensive the use of the choice of denial is and the different FORMS which the choice of denial takes in manifestation. Each one is a different way you have of hiding something from your conscious awareness. One usually hides something from one’s conscious awareness because there is some form of reaction to it or judgment of it.
So, you are creating with the "power of choice," and your choices are manifesting, and you are creating with the choice of denial - ALL THE TIME. It is important here to take note of some relevant points regarding the use of the choice of denial in your creative process. First - denial is not wrong. And I realize that this point will take some time to receive in your consciousness, for there has been much said and written to the contrary, and there is much belief in the mass consciousness that denial is wrong . But it is not wrong, it is simply another form of how you use your choice energy in manifestation. Secondly, the use of denial is not "bad," but again - like the judgement of "wrong" this goes against much story about the use of denial in the mass consciousness. And third, there is something hidden in the denial itself (which is being used to hide other manifestations from your consciousness) which cannot be received until the judgements against denial are released, and a deeper understanding of denial is received.
A useful analogy to understand choices and denial is this: let's say that your different choices are represented by different colors. When Self creates colors, each one has a different vibration and manifestation, or effect. So Self has created many different colors with many different effects or manifestations. Each CHOICE has its own manifestation, which is unique to that choice. The choice of joy creates the experience of joy. The choice of blue creates the experience of blue, and so on. Self creates many different colors / experiences. Then one day, Self discovers that a new choice / experience can be created, and this choice has a very unique and different effect - it hides other manifestations from awareness. It appears as a "magic" choice, because when it manifests, it is "invisible" to the mind, and also makes other
Manifestations appear to be "not there." This is the choice of denial. Now remember it is just another choice - another color in the creative palette of Self. And once choices are created, they are not "un-created”, they evolve. " There is no way to "un-do" a manifestation, just as you do not "un-create" a color. You can choose not to use it as much, and you can choose to forget about it, but that does not mean that it is gone or no longer a part of creation. Thus it is with the choice of denial.
What does this have to do with story? Well, what is story? It is all the thoughts you have in your mind - both conscious and unconscious. And what is thought? It is the manifestation of your choices in the mental dimension. In other words, your mind (which is the aspect of self which allows you to access the mental dimension). So, what we have are a lot of thoughts. Pick an area and make a list of all the thoughts you have about that aspect of yourself or your life - you will find that there are very many, for you are very creative in all areas of self. And these thoughts are the mental manifestations of your choices, both "regular choices" and the choices of denial. And the choices of denial simply mean that there are many ways in which Self desires to hide something from self, usually without knowing what is being hidden or "why" the hiding is taking place. These thoughts are what story is composed of. And when you put all the thoughts about a particular area of Self together, what you have is what we call the Belief Structure of that area. Your Belief Structure can be seen as the manifested framework of all the choices you are currently energizing within the Self.
And from what I have told you thus far, you can see that in every story there is much which Self is doing - creating - and hiding from Self - hidden from your conscious awareness. Now let us look deeper into the process of "story" and what it actually holds for you.
Stories and the Soul
What does your favorite story of pain and suffering have to offer you besides a constant flow of "I can’t, I don’t have, I will never have, I have lost, etc"? Each of us are born with “old, old stories" that are energized by the soul for the purpose of transformation of specific points within our belief structure. But as we seek to “understand” and relate to the story through our logic, this process simply loops around itself due to the denial present within the story never addressing the issue that the Soul is seeking to evolve. In other words, "understanding" of a story is a transformational "dead end." The understanding, the “knowing” of the story never leads to change, because the purpose of every story is to "explain" to the mind "the way things are," and "why they cannot, will not, or do not, change”. And we are using our mind to constantly energize our stories. What would be the purpose of this? Perhaps the Soul is seeking to create change in the area of the story and utilizing the mind in an attempt to do so. So why can’t the mind with its logic change the story or see what the story is really about? Usually it is because of the unacknowledged presence of some form or forms of denial, which need to first be recognized and acknowledged for what they are - forms of hiding from Soul / Self, games of "pretend" which Soul is playing with Soul.
How do you process story? How do you relate to story if you are a person who is seeking to go beyond the story that you have realized is not true, has no real basis, and only loops you deeper and deeper into your past, or presents a view of the future that is hopeless and dysfunctional? What do you do when you come upon such a flow within yourself and your awakening process?
One way to look at "what we get" from our stories of pain and suffering is to consider the emotional states which we have linked to the story. Feelings that come with each story are not
created by the story itself, nor are they created by the past experiences which the story is based on, nor are they created by other people, who are usually major players in the story. NO, my friends, all the emotional experiences and feelings which come with each of your stories are YOUR creations, separate from the stories with which they are linked. And there is a separate step of choice / creation, in the form of linkage (which is then made unconscious) to combine these feelings with a story, and then pretend that Self is not just creating those feelings for the sake of feeling them, but that they are "coming from" the story. Can you imagine creating feelings of rejection, emotional pain, abandonment, hurt, shame, etc., just for the sake of feeling them? This is not how the MIND sees it. No, in the mind, "I would not have these feelings if I did not have these experiences which are recollected / remembered / retold in my story." Thus says the mind. And in doing this, we have very quickly created a great play with denial, and linked these feelings to a story, and gone unconscious about the whole process.
The truth is, my friends, that the majority of humanity is hooked on a drug, and it is an addiction to the feelings of what I will call simply "non-reception." And there are immense feedings of these feelings to the Self, to the Soul every day. And the way that these "feedings" are justified, is through the use of stories. On one level, then, stories are used to justify the "beating up" of Self, of Soul, feeding Self with enormous quantities of self-judgement and other feelings of non-reception, because Self, the Soul has a hard time feeling too much RECEPTION for Self. This is one realization which many people will find amazing, but the truth of it is apparent once you begin to look at what emotional states you have linked with your stories, and acknowledge that it is YOUR CHOICE what you CHOOSE to feel about any particular story. There are no "sad" stories, or "happy" stories, or "joyful" stories, or "painful" stories, other than what YOU decide to make of them. As difficult as this may be to imagine, that is how you are doing it, and pretending you are not.
Some people attempt to simply ignore the stories that they play with all the time, primarily because they have decided that the story has nothing to do with their spiritual growth and enlightenment. For example, "My dysfunctional family upbringing showed me what NOT to do to make myself happy. I'm really glad that I'm beyond that now." In fact, they believe the story simply distracts them from the more “positive” aspects of their life, therefore they try to ignore it, and every time that they become aware of it, they seek to take their attention elsewhere because they have decided that what is in their past is really not relevant to their spiritual development at this time. Yet the story remains in consciousness.
A question to ask oneself is: why would a creative being such as yourself create the “story” in the first place if it was to be simply ignored? Why would the Soul seek to communicate such a point of interpreted pain to the personality/ego if the only value was so that the personality/ego could then criticize itself because of it, or add more denial in the form of “it really doesn’t matter" on top of it? To blame one's experience of the past for the presence of a story in one's consciousness in the present is a very interesting form of - denial? What is Self hiding from Self here? Maybe it has nothing at all to due with the past but what is happening in the present, the NOW. You, the Self, the Soul exists in the present. That is where your body is, and that is where your consciousness is, and to play with stories of the past and future, and then to blame them for what is going on NOW in the present, is a very popular form of avoiding the experiences that Self is creating in the present.
Think about this…For what purpose would you be re-creating the stories now that you have created before, if the stories held no importance to your enlightenment now? Perhaps the fact
that you create a story in the now is because it has some value for you now. But how does one find the hidden value of the story? Most people interpret story through the eyes of denial, meaning they focus it either on the past or the future and they forget that they are creating the story right now, in the present. They look at the story from what has been done to them by others, hence they play the victim. Or they focus on what they have done to others, and they play the perpetrator. Either way they do not see that they are really looking at what they are doing to themselves right now. That the stories that we all create that always involve others - friends, parents, family, employers, strangers, aliens, authority figures, teachers, etc. - are stories that we tell ourselves in an attempt to communicate to ourselves what we are doing to ourselves, by ourselves, NOW. Yet when we listen to our story of pain and suffering at the hands of another, or due to another’s insensitivity and unconsciousness, we never consider that We, the Self, the Soul is attempting to communicate something that we are doing to ourselves that needs to be brought to our attention now. It is crucial that this behavior - as translated by the Soul to the personality ego – be recognized by the personality/ego so that the personality/ego can respond differently to the situation than it has in the past. One of the strength’s inherent in the personality/ego when it is working consciously in a co-creative flow with the Soul, Higher Self or Mutli-Dimensional Self, is it’s ability to consciously re-direct it’s energy, it’s reaction, in a manner that creates a different internal response, hence a different ending to the story…for the purpose of transformation. Yet most personality /ego’s interpretation of the story is very literal and filled with denial, so that it’s attention is taken from the story within to the story on the outside.
How do you change this unconscious behavior? By adding a bit of consciousness that would interpret the story differently than the "logic" of the mind, which "understands" the story as being [1] about the past (rather than about the now), and [2] about others and me (rather than all about me). Your story is really about the now and all about you, and to begin to see it that way is to take a major step into a different level of consciousness. How do you do this in a practical level? Very simple. Write down one of your "favorite" stories - one that you have a major reaction to. Now change every reference to the past or future to reflect the present, and change every reference to "others" to refer to yourself (me, I). Read it again and listen to what you are telling yourself that you have been hiding from yourself in the story. This is the first level of "Reflective Process" analysis, which begins to insert consciousness into a space that has been dominated by the mind and the effects of denial.
What do I mean by this statement? Consciousness is different than logic. I realize that that statement may stimulate the conscious response of “I know that,” but I want you to consider what that statement really means here. What is consciousness and how does it differ from logic? Most of the time we use logic to communicate our stories For example….this action begat this response, and that action begat that response, and therefore this experience happened to me, etc. Although we communicate consciousness with the use of the mind, consciousness is at a vibration that one is able to recognize the manifestations of denial and deal with these manifestations differently than that of logic. When we add consciousness to story we recognize that each action within a story - whether spiritual, mental, emotional or physical in nature - is complete within itself and that whatever response we have to that action, is a different action, also complete within itself. And it requires a choice of denial manifested in the form of linkage to "create a relationship” between the different actions. When consciousness is added to an experience then we begin to relate to that experience from a framework of Creator rather than from a framework of victim / perpetrator. Also when we add consciousness to a story, the denial in the form of the past and the future within the story is recognized and we move the story into the present. to Using these tools of consciousness,
let’s discover what is being hidden within the following story and spark a point of transformation within.
The story is as follows…
“My mother never really understood me or appreciated me. She was always yelling at me and complaining about her life. I am so tired of listening to her. Even now she keeps bringing up the same old stories about how she cannot have this or cannot do that. She is always complaining about my dad. He just tolerates it. I do not see how he can constantly stand to listen to her, I certainly can’t. I do not know why I had a mother like this. Why couldn’t I have a mother who really cared about me rather than always focusing on herself? I feel I ended up being a mother to my own mother and I really resent that now. “
A response to this story from a framework of co-dependency (i.e., logic of the mind or "healthy response") … "I need to distance myself from my mother because she is so unconscious. And if I am to evolve and go beyond her stuff that she keeps dumping on me now, I need to rise above it and set better boundaries as to what I am willing tolerate and what I am not willing to put up with. I couldn’t do it as a child but I can certainly do it now. I must have done this same thing to her some time in the past and I am now being punished for my past choices. [idea of karma] Eventually it will change but right now I must be willing to communicate what I need. "
The meaning / interpretation of the story by the mind (which is actually more story, but seen as "what is really going on underneath") … "The issue here is her unwillingness and inability to change herself and her unconscious anger toward herself that she keeps trying to change by expressing to myself and my father. I can pray for her, send her light and love, and when she talks to me, I can attempt to communicate some different ideas, but that doesn’t happen to often."
We have three pieces of process here – the original story, the response to the story, and the mind’s interpretation of the story and the response. All of these are aspects of the same story, just different perspectives on it coming from Self. It doesn’t matter which part you start with, every one of them is a part of the larger story of this woman’s relationship with her mother – the mirror of that part of Self which nurtures Self (which is what the mother reflects to Self.)
If we add consciousness to the above original story we will discover something very incredible about our self that we have been hiding from ourselves You can do this same process with the response to the story and the mind’s interpretation of the story…So let’s see what we can discover about Self here…
1st step…Change everything in the story that relates to the past or the future to the present. When we do this, the "story" becomes:
My mother never really understands me or appreciates me. She is always yelling at me and complaining about her life. I am so tired of listening to her. Even now she keeps bringing up the same old stories about how she cannot have this or cannot do that. She is always complaining about my dad. He just tolerates it. I do not see how he can constantly stand to listen to her, I certainly can’t. I do not know why I have a mother like this. Why can’t I have a mother who really cares about me rather than always focusing on herself? I feel I am being a mother to my own mother and I really resent that now. “
Now we change all references to “others” to refer to Self, and the story becomes:
I do not understand me or appreciate me. I am always yelling at me and complaining about my life. I am so tired of listening to me. I keep bringing up the same old stories about how I cannot do this or do that. I am always complaining about my spark (symbolism in this case for "father") And I just tolerate it. I do not see how I can constantly stand to listen to me. I certainly can’t. I do not know why I am like this. Why can’t I really care about me rather than always focusing on me? I feel I am being a mother to me and I really resent this now
We have applied the first steps of the Reflective Process in which we have discovered something very different than the original story . There are several more steps to go which would ferret out more of what is hidden within the story that I am not going to describe at this point in time.
Now you would ask yourself the question: How am I doing this to me now?" This question stimulates you to look within yourself and your current behaviors. In this case, what has been hidden from Self is the Self-Responsibility for the treatment of Self which the story-teller has been experiencing in the "mirror of self" (her/his mother) but has been in denial that it is HERSELF/HIMSELF who is doing it TO HERSELF/HIMSELF. She/he is treating herself/himself this way, and refusing to acknowledge it, but instead playing the victim to the mirror which is an all too common a game within humanity.
Using the above example, when we look at what Self is doing to Self, and we drop the defensive reactions which are usually stimulated when we begin to do this, we could ask Self the following questions.
● How do I not understand or appreciate me? Some answers might be 1) I do not understand nor appreciate all that I do for myself in the form of nurturing. 2) I do not understand nor appreciate my feminine or emotional aspect. 3) I do not understand nor appreciate my emotional experiences.
● How and when am I complaining to me and yelling at me (inside) and not listening to me, so that it shows up in the mirror? Some answers might be 1) when I feel something 2) when my experiences of the moment are different from my expectations.
As we re-read our newly framed story we could have the following realizations…
● It is ME who is always bringing up the same old stories about my inability to create or have what I desire in my life.
● I am in judgement of my spark - my initiative, my willingness to take responsibility for my life
● And I have been ignoring me, "tolerating" this state of me inside, not willing to listen to what I am saying to me inside
● I AM the mother to me and I am in denial of this, and I have been blaming the mirror of my own mother which has shown me my own beliefs and denied actions to myself, and I have been in non-reception (resenting) of this
As you can see, this is a very different process which can reveal many things to you about you. It also begins to awaken and make more space within your waking state, your Creator-consciousness. This is an aspect of what we call “enlightenment”, the act of spirit evolving beyond what it is. You may also find there exists within you a counter-response, a reaction which comes from the part of Self which doesn't want to know that it is Creator, that wants to stay in the state of victim and wait to be rescued by something, someone from "without," which seems to take forever to happen. But believe me, my friends, there is always room for the state of victim within Self, and in reality giving some space to the Creator-consciousness within you does not take anything away from the victim, for they are not in polarity. Just different parts of Self. So if you find yourself having a reaction when you use this process I have given you, remember that it is just a part of Self having a little "temper tantrum" because Self has become aware that there is more to Self than Self had thought there was. Don't be afraid to look in the mirror and own that what you are seeing is YOU. And the mirror is very big - as big as you are willing to acknowledge for you are only looking at you.
Copyright © 2007, The Vywamus Foundation, Cumberland, Maine, USA
Originally published in Sedona Journal of Emergence, August 2007
Light Technology Publishing, Flagstaff, Arizona, USA
http://www.vywamusfoundation.com/
Vywamus channeled through Patricia Marston-Snow & Halsey Snow
What is "Story?"
Welcome, My Friends, this is Vywamus:
When we talk about "story," what is it we mean? Everyone has numerous "stories" which they play with in their head, sometimes consciously, often unconsciously. For example, we all have stories about our family, our upbringing, our teachers, our friends, our work, what we like and don't like, how we see ourselves, how others see us, what we believe we can or cannot XXX be, where we are going, where we have been, how change does and does not happen, etc., etc., etc. Some stories are more interesting than others. Some stories hold really big emotional "kicks," and these we usually share with many people by speaking, writing and/or acting out.
And some stories we would really like to change, but how is that possible? Can you change a story which seems to be based on the past, on what cannot change, on what seems to be "true?" The answer is yes you can. How? With the use of “creator consciousness”.
A major step in creating change in a story requires you to acknowledge that Self is the creator of the story, regardless of what the story is about, the timing of the story and the other people involved in the story. Although we think about and speak our stories with great knowingness of our “TRUTH” regarding the facts of the story, there exists little awareness of what these stories are really composed of, and the effects which they are having on us. This is a point where a change in the understanding and use of the common term "story" can assist oneself in relating to Self differently. We need to begin with an understanding of Self as Creator, which is embodied in the First Principle of Manifestation: You are the creator of all you experience.
The power of creation resides in each one of you. This "power" is a form of energy which you are not usually conscious of, and I will use the words "choice energy" to refer to this power. *** (People tend to assume that the phrase ‘choice energy’ is the same as the mind’s ability to make a choice, hence a decision. It is different. Choice energy is an energy of creation, of manifestation. The decision making process of the mind does not play with “choice energy”, it plays with the manifestations within the mental realm known as thoughts) Remember, your creation of your experience is happening all the time through your use of this choice energy, you are doing it, AND you are unconscious of it. Now when this energy moves into manifestation, it does so in many, many different dimensions SIMULTANEOUSLY. That is correct - it is not a "top - down" model of creation as you may have heard about or read about. Creation happens simultaneously. And of course, you all know that in the human experience, you are attuned to, primarily, 4 dimensions: the mental, emotional, physical, and the spiritual. Of course, the "spiritual" dimension, when you refer to it that way, is really just a shorthand term for "all those other dimensions which I am not very aware of and do not know specifically what they are," etc. So we use the term "spiritual dimension" with that understanding, that it covers a lot of territory.
Now we have the energy of creation, "choice energy," or we can just say "choice," which moves into manifestation and does so simultaneously in all dimensions. The 3 primary dimensions of manifestation which you need to be concerned with at this time in your spiritual development are the mental, emotional and physical, for these are the dimensions which the
personality/ego was created to experience in and learn from. What are the manifestations on these dimensions? In the EMOTIONAL dimension, choice energy manifests as feelings (conscious and unconscious.) In the PHYSICAL dimension, choice energy manifests as all the physical objects and experiences which you have (including your body), and the unconscious physical manifestations you are not aware of (which is everything you believe you do "not" have, and all the things which are "not" yours). And in the MENTAL dimension, choice energy manifests as thought (conscious and unconscious.) You have the experience of thought, and that is the manifestation of your "choices" in the mental dimension - at least that part of the mental dimension which is accessible by your mind.
CHOICE MANIFESTS - this is a universal law or truth or however you want to perceive such things. There is no such thing as "partial" or "incomplete" manifestation. Every choice has its own particular forms of manifestation in the different dimensions. In fact, there are no "better or poorer" manifestations when it comes to choices. You could say that "all choices are created equal" regardless of your opinion or judgment of the choice/manifestation.
One particular choice that humanity plays with in great abundance in almost every experience is the choice of denial. And I bring this to your attention primarily due to the fact that when denial manifests in our reality you are not usually aware of it even though the choice of denial affects other manifestations. The choice of denial is stimulated by the intention to HIDE something from your conscious awareness. And the choice of denial when manifested does this very well. There are many different forms of the choice of denial, all which you are very familiar with, all hiding something (other manifestations) from your conscious awareness. I am sharing with you a list of the principal forms of denial which I have been using with my students, which shows how extensive the use of the choice of denial is and the different FORMS which the choice of denial takes in manifestation. Each one is a different way you have of hiding something from your conscious awareness. One usually hides something from one’s conscious awareness because there is some form of reaction to it or judgment of it.
So, you are creating with the "power of choice," and your choices are manifesting, and you are creating with the choice of denial - ALL THE TIME. It is important here to take note of some relevant points regarding the use of the choice of denial in your creative process. First - denial is not wrong. And I realize that this point will take some time to receive in your consciousness, for there has been much said and written to the contrary, and there is much belief in the mass consciousness that denial is wrong . But it is not wrong, it is simply another form of how you use your choice energy in manifestation. Secondly, the use of denial is not "bad," but again - like the judgement of "wrong" this goes against much story about the use of denial in the mass consciousness. And third, there is something hidden in the denial itself (which is being used to hide other manifestations from your consciousness) which cannot be received until the judgements against denial are released, and a deeper understanding of denial is received.
A useful analogy to understand choices and denial is this: let's say that your different choices are represented by different colors. When Self creates colors, each one has a different vibration and manifestation, or effect. So Self has created many different colors with many different effects or manifestations. Each CHOICE has its own manifestation, which is unique to that choice. The choice of joy creates the experience of joy. The choice of blue creates the experience of blue, and so on. Self creates many different colors / experiences. Then one day, Self discovers that a new choice / experience can be created, and this choice has a very unique and different effect - it hides other manifestations from awareness. It appears as a "magic" choice, because when it manifests, it is "invisible" to the mind, and also makes other
Manifestations appear to be "not there." This is the choice of denial. Now remember it is just another choice - another color in the creative palette of Self. And once choices are created, they are not "un-created”, they evolve. " There is no way to "un-do" a manifestation, just as you do not "un-create" a color. You can choose not to use it as much, and you can choose to forget about it, but that does not mean that it is gone or no longer a part of creation. Thus it is with the choice of denial.
What does this have to do with story? Well, what is story? It is all the thoughts you have in your mind - both conscious and unconscious. And what is thought? It is the manifestation of your choices in the mental dimension. In other words, your mind (which is the aspect of self which allows you to access the mental dimension). So, what we have are a lot of thoughts. Pick an area and make a list of all the thoughts you have about that aspect of yourself or your life - you will find that there are very many, for you are very creative in all areas of self. And these thoughts are the mental manifestations of your choices, both "regular choices" and the choices of denial. And the choices of denial simply mean that there are many ways in which Self desires to hide something from self, usually without knowing what is being hidden or "why" the hiding is taking place. These thoughts are what story is composed of. And when you put all the thoughts about a particular area of Self together, what you have is what we call the Belief Structure of that area. Your Belief Structure can be seen as the manifested framework of all the choices you are currently energizing within the Self.
And from what I have told you thus far, you can see that in every story there is much which Self is doing - creating - and hiding from Self - hidden from your conscious awareness. Now let us look deeper into the process of "story" and what it actually holds for you.
Stories and the Soul
What does your favorite story of pain and suffering have to offer you besides a constant flow of "I can’t, I don’t have, I will never have, I have lost, etc"? Each of us are born with “old, old stories" that are energized by the soul for the purpose of transformation of specific points within our belief structure. But as we seek to “understand” and relate to the story through our logic, this process simply loops around itself due to the denial present within the story never addressing the issue that the Soul is seeking to evolve. In other words, "understanding" of a story is a transformational "dead end." The understanding, the “knowing” of the story never leads to change, because the purpose of every story is to "explain" to the mind "the way things are," and "why they cannot, will not, or do not, change”. And we are using our mind to constantly energize our stories. What would be the purpose of this? Perhaps the Soul is seeking to create change in the area of the story and utilizing the mind in an attempt to do so. So why can’t the mind with its logic change the story or see what the story is really about? Usually it is because of the unacknowledged presence of some form or forms of denial, which need to first be recognized and acknowledged for what they are - forms of hiding from Soul / Self, games of "pretend" which Soul is playing with Soul.
How do you process story? How do you relate to story if you are a person who is seeking to go beyond the story that you have realized is not true, has no real basis, and only loops you deeper and deeper into your past, or presents a view of the future that is hopeless and dysfunctional? What do you do when you come upon such a flow within yourself and your awakening process?
One way to look at "what we get" from our stories of pain and suffering is to consider the emotional states which we have linked to the story. Feelings that come with each story are not
created by the story itself, nor are they created by the past experiences which the story is based on, nor are they created by other people, who are usually major players in the story. NO, my friends, all the emotional experiences and feelings which come with each of your stories are YOUR creations, separate from the stories with which they are linked. And there is a separate step of choice / creation, in the form of linkage (which is then made unconscious) to combine these feelings with a story, and then pretend that Self is not just creating those feelings for the sake of feeling them, but that they are "coming from" the story. Can you imagine creating feelings of rejection, emotional pain, abandonment, hurt, shame, etc., just for the sake of feeling them? This is not how the MIND sees it. No, in the mind, "I would not have these feelings if I did not have these experiences which are recollected / remembered / retold in my story." Thus says the mind. And in doing this, we have very quickly created a great play with denial, and linked these feelings to a story, and gone unconscious about the whole process.
The truth is, my friends, that the majority of humanity is hooked on a drug, and it is an addiction to the feelings of what I will call simply "non-reception." And there are immense feedings of these feelings to the Self, to the Soul every day. And the way that these "feedings" are justified, is through the use of stories. On one level, then, stories are used to justify the "beating up" of Self, of Soul, feeding Self with enormous quantities of self-judgement and other feelings of non-reception, because Self, the Soul has a hard time feeling too much RECEPTION for Self. This is one realization which many people will find amazing, but the truth of it is apparent once you begin to look at what emotional states you have linked with your stories, and acknowledge that it is YOUR CHOICE what you CHOOSE to feel about any particular story. There are no "sad" stories, or "happy" stories, or "joyful" stories, or "painful" stories, other than what YOU decide to make of them. As difficult as this may be to imagine, that is how you are doing it, and pretending you are not.
Some people attempt to simply ignore the stories that they play with all the time, primarily because they have decided that the story has nothing to do with their spiritual growth and enlightenment. For example, "My dysfunctional family upbringing showed me what NOT to do to make myself happy. I'm really glad that I'm beyond that now." In fact, they believe the story simply distracts them from the more “positive” aspects of their life, therefore they try to ignore it, and every time that they become aware of it, they seek to take their attention elsewhere because they have decided that what is in their past is really not relevant to their spiritual development at this time. Yet the story remains in consciousness.
A question to ask oneself is: why would a creative being such as yourself create the “story” in the first place if it was to be simply ignored? Why would the Soul seek to communicate such a point of interpreted pain to the personality/ego if the only value was so that the personality/ego could then criticize itself because of it, or add more denial in the form of “it really doesn’t matter" on top of it? To blame one's experience of the past for the presence of a story in one's consciousness in the present is a very interesting form of - denial? What is Self hiding from Self here? Maybe it has nothing at all to due with the past but what is happening in the present, the NOW. You, the Self, the Soul exists in the present. That is where your body is, and that is where your consciousness is, and to play with stories of the past and future, and then to blame them for what is going on NOW in the present, is a very popular form of avoiding the experiences that Self is creating in the present.
Think about this…For what purpose would you be re-creating the stories now that you have created before, if the stories held no importance to your enlightenment now? Perhaps the fact
that you create a story in the now is because it has some value for you now. But how does one find the hidden value of the story? Most people interpret story through the eyes of denial, meaning they focus it either on the past or the future and they forget that they are creating the story right now, in the present. They look at the story from what has been done to them by others, hence they play the victim. Or they focus on what they have done to others, and they play the perpetrator. Either way they do not see that they are really looking at what they are doing to themselves right now. That the stories that we all create that always involve others - friends, parents, family, employers, strangers, aliens, authority figures, teachers, etc. - are stories that we tell ourselves in an attempt to communicate to ourselves what we are doing to ourselves, by ourselves, NOW. Yet when we listen to our story of pain and suffering at the hands of another, or due to another’s insensitivity and unconsciousness, we never consider that We, the Self, the Soul is attempting to communicate something that we are doing to ourselves that needs to be brought to our attention now. It is crucial that this behavior - as translated by the Soul to the personality ego – be recognized by the personality/ego so that the personality/ego can respond differently to the situation than it has in the past. One of the strength’s inherent in the personality/ego when it is working consciously in a co-creative flow with the Soul, Higher Self or Mutli-Dimensional Self, is it’s ability to consciously re-direct it’s energy, it’s reaction, in a manner that creates a different internal response, hence a different ending to the story…for the purpose of transformation. Yet most personality /ego’s interpretation of the story is very literal and filled with denial, so that it’s attention is taken from the story within to the story on the outside.
How do you change this unconscious behavior? By adding a bit of consciousness that would interpret the story differently than the "logic" of the mind, which "understands" the story as being [1] about the past (rather than about the now), and [2] about others and me (rather than all about me). Your story is really about the now and all about you, and to begin to see it that way is to take a major step into a different level of consciousness. How do you do this in a practical level? Very simple. Write down one of your "favorite" stories - one that you have a major reaction to. Now change every reference to the past or future to reflect the present, and change every reference to "others" to refer to yourself (me, I). Read it again and listen to what you are telling yourself that you have been hiding from yourself in the story. This is the first level of "Reflective Process" analysis, which begins to insert consciousness into a space that has been dominated by the mind and the effects of denial.
What do I mean by this statement? Consciousness is different than logic. I realize that that statement may stimulate the conscious response of “I know that,” but I want you to consider what that statement really means here. What is consciousness and how does it differ from logic? Most of the time we use logic to communicate our stories For example….this action begat this response, and that action begat that response, and therefore this experience happened to me, etc. Although we communicate consciousness with the use of the mind, consciousness is at a vibration that one is able to recognize the manifestations of denial and deal with these manifestations differently than that of logic. When we add consciousness to story we recognize that each action within a story - whether spiritual, mental, emotional or physical in nature - is complete within itself and that whatever response we have to that action, is a different action, also complete within itself. And it requires a choice of denial manifested in the form of linkage to "create a relationship” between the different actions. When consciousness is added to an experience then we begin to relate to that experience from a framework of Creator rather than from a framework of victim / perpetrator. Also when we add consciousness to a story, the denial in the form of the past and the future within the story is recognized and we move the story into the present. to Using these tools of consciousness,
let’s discover what is being hidden within the following story and spark a point of transformation within.
The story is as follows…
“My mother never really understood me or appreciated me. She was always yelling at me and complaining about her life. I am so tired of listening to her. Even now she keeps bringing up the same old stories about how she cannot have this or cannot do that. She is always complaining about my dad. He just tolerates it. I do not see how he can constantly stand to listen to her, I certainly can’t. I do not know why I had a mother like this. Why couldn’t I have a mother who really cared about me rather than always focusing on herself? I feel I ended up being a mother to my own mother and I really resent that now. “
A response to this story from a framework of co-dependency (i.e., logic of the mind or "healthy response") … "I need to distance myself from my mother because she is so unconscious. And if I am to evolve and go beyond her stuff that she keeps dumping on me now, I need to rise above it and set better boundaries as to what I am willing tolerate and what I am not willing to put up with. I couldn’t do it as a child but I can certainly do it now. I must have done this same thing to her some time in the past and I am now being punished for my past choices. [idea of karma] Eventually it will change but right now I must be willing to communicate what I need. "
The meaning / interpretation of the story by the mind (which is actually more story, but seen as "what is really going on underneath") … "The issue here is her unwillingness and inability to change herself and her unconscious anger toward herself that she keeps trying to change by expressing to myself and my father. I can pray for her, send her light and love, and when she talks to me, I can attempt to communicate some different ideas, but that doesn’t happen to often."
We have three pieces of process here – the original story, the response to the story, and the mind’s interpretation of the story and the response. All of these are aspects of the same story, just different perspectives on it coming from Self. It doesn’t matter which part you start with, every one of them is a part of the larger story of this woman’s relationship with her mother – the mirror of that part of Self which nurtures Self (which is what the mother reflects to Self.)
If we add consciousness to the above original story we will discover something very incredible about our self that we have been hiding from ourselves You can do this same process with the response to the story and the mind’s interpretation of the story…So let’s see what we can discover about Self here…
1st step…Change everything in the story that relates to the past or the future to the present. When we do this, the "story" becomes:
My mother never really understands me or appreciates me. She is always yelling at me and complaining about her life. I am so tired of listening to her. Even now she keeps bringing up the same old stories about how she cannot have this or cannot do that. She is always complaining about my dad. He just tolerates it. I do not see how he can constantly stand to listen to her, I certainly can’t. I do not know why I have a mother like this. Why can’t I have a mother who really cares about me rather than always focusing on herself? I feel I am being a mother to my own mother and I really resent that now. “
Now we change all references to “others” to refer to Self, and the story becomes:
I do not understand me or appreciate me. I am always yelling at me and complaining about my life. I am so tired of listening to me. I keep bringing up the same old stories about how I cannot do this or do that. I am always complaining about my spark (symbolism in this case for "father") And I just tolerate it. I do not see how I can constantly stand to listen to me. I certainly can’t. I do not know why I am like this. Why can’t I really care about me rather than always focusing on me? I feel I am being a mother to me and I really resent this now
We have applied the first steps of the Reflective Process in which we have discovered something very different than the original story . There are several more steps to go which would ferret out more of what is hidden within the story that I am not going to describe at this point in time.
Now you would ask yourself the question: How am I doing this to me now?" This question stimulates you to look within yourself and your current behaviors. In this case, what has been hidden from Self is the Self-Responsibility for the treatment of Self which the story-teller has been experiencing in the "mirror of self" (her/his mother) but has been in denial that it is HERSELF/HIMSELF who is doing it TO HERSELF/HIMSELF. She/he is treating herself/himself this way, and refusing to acknowledge it, but instead playing the victim to the mirror which is an all too common a game within humanity.
Using the above example, when we look at what Self is doing to Self, and we drop the defensive reactions which are usually stimulated when we begin to do this, we could ask Self the following questions.
● How do I not understand or appreciate me? Some answers might be 1) I do not understand nor appreciate all that I do for myself in the form of nurturing. 2) I do not understand nor appreciate my feminine or emotional aspect. 3) I do not understand nor appreciate my emotional experiences.
● How and when am I complaining to me and yelling at me (inside) and not listening to me, so that it shows up in the mirror? Some answers might be 1) when I feel something 2) when my experiences of the moment are different from my expectations.
As we re-read our newly framed story we could have the following realizations…
● It is ME who is always bringing up the same old stories about my inability to create or have what I desire in my life.
● I am in judgement of my spark - my initiative, my willingness to take responsibility for my life
● And I have been ignoring me, "tolerating" this state of me inside, not willing to listen to what I am saying to me inside
● I AM the mother to me and I am in denial of this, and I have been blaming the mirror of my own mother which has shown me my own beliefs and denied actions to myself, and I have been in non-reception (resenting) of this
As you can see, this is a very different process which can reveal many things to you about you. It also begins to awaken and make more space within your waking state, your Creator-consciousness. This is an aspect of what we call “enlightenment”, the act of spirit evolving beyond what it is. You may also find there exists within you a counter-response, a reaction which comes from the part of Self which doesn't want to know that it is Creator, that wants to stay in the state of victim and wait to be rescued by something, someone from "without," which seems to take forever to happen. But believe me, my friends, there is always room for the state of victim within Self, and in reality giving some space to the Creator-consciousness within you does not take anything away from the victim, for they are not in polarity. Just different parts of Self. So if you find yourself having a reaction when you use this process I have given you, remember that it is just a part of Self having a little "temper tantrum" because Self has become aware that there is more to Self than Self had thought there was. Don't be afraid to look in the mirror and own that what you are seeing is YOU. And the mirror is very big - as big as you are willing to acknowledge for you are only looking at you.
Copyright © 2007, The Vywamus Foundation, Cumberland, Maine, USA
Originally published in Sedona Journal of Emergence, August 2007
Light Technology Publishing, Flagstaff, Arizona, USA
http://www.vywamusfoundation.com/
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NAMASTE'...GoddessLight
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